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 What do you think?

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PostSubject: What do you think?   Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:22 pm

So, I am an athiest. No, this doesn't mean that I am anti-Christianity or any other religion...quite the opposite actually I love studying all religions. I just don't believe in a God of any sort or follow any organized religion...I just have the morals of which I live by which are basically the morals everyone lives by to an extent.

My fiance is a Christian, he doesn't go to church but he does pray and believe in God. I have had many people question how we are going to live our lives together and raise our children together when we have two vastly different point of views on religion. To me, it's simple. We respect each others beliefs and as for our children we both decided that when they were old enough we would let them decide what religion they chose or not chose to be based on their own knowledge and understanding without family based bias.

What do you think? Is similar religions a make or break for marriage?
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Sarah
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PostSubject: Re: What do you think?   Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:08 pm

I don't feel like they are a make or break. As long as you both agree to what you discribed above you should be fine. Andrew and I are also still trying to decide what we are lol. So it should be intresting.

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PostSubject: Re: What do you think?   Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:26 pm

I dont think it is make or break.

But what happens if your husband has an epiphany one day and decides his Christian convictions dont click with having an Atheist wife?(Ive seen this happen with non married couples and it is not pretty) Or what if one day you decide to become Orthodox Jew? (which would and could contradict Christianity more so than your Atheism?) Or you decide to become buddhist and he disagrees with bringing your children to the temple for meditation?

Im not saying it is a horrible decision by all means,Im not in your marriage and I dont know either of you personally.

But having parents of various Christian denominations and knowing how quickly divorce did happen,and could happen...it was a chunk of the divorce cake for them.

Being of different religions or different denominations can be very stressful.The child will be hearing 2 different things from their parents,and that is hard.

As a teen I was raised and attended Catholic Church with my Dad,also went to high school at Assembly of God academy,and had an Episcopalian stepmother.Dont think I wasn't confused...I was.My husband has agreed to convert to my religion just as his father did with his mom.I never asked him to come to the "dark side." haha But we agreed the child should have a good moral foundation,good religious foundation and have his/her parents set a good example.Just as I had as a child.We're both by no means amazing or outstanding Christian examples but we feel that is between God and us.We're working on it...just dont expect a second coming of Billy Graham...haha.

I wish goodluck as this is a very tough topic to discover,and I hope it does not bring you strife in your marriage.
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PostSubject: Re: What do you think?   Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:58 am

i think it really depends on how strongly each person's convictions are...good luck!
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PostSubject: Re: What do you think?   Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:08 pm

I know examples where this works (usually only with two diff. denominations of religions, none with athiest to date), but I also know that it can cause a lot of strife. Even when it's just two very different denominations it can be hard because each person wants to be in what's comfortable to them and raise their kids that way. Another problem is Church, at least for me, is also a family affair and when one person doesn't participate it divides the family. I did know a couple once where she was jewish and he christian and they decided that for the sake of their children they would participate in both (don't know how that would work for you though). Also another thing to think about is the the Bible does say not to be unequally yoked and not to be yoked to an unbeliever. Not to say you shouldn't marry, but it's something to consider, especially as he matures in his faith. I think if you two are going to marry then you need to set the ground rules now, BUT be open to discussing them later for revision. Good Luck and no matter what we all love you here!
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PostSubject: Re: What do you think?   Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:27 pm

haha you said what i didnt want to say...

I dont know this is a tough topic.I always had the rule of you needed to have some belief in a higher power before we went on a second date.DH was of the whole mindset of...someone exists but I havent quite figured it out.

And MJ made a good point.If your husband takes the kids to church...what do you do? How do you explain it to your kids? And churches are VERY political.Its sad but true...people will ask your husband where his wife is...why isnt she attending such and such event.Churches are a family affair.

Im trying to give you a couple different sides to this.I wouldnt recommend you 'fake me out' with a religious belief but this whole discussion is something to figure out before the kids come.

We're all on different paths,but you need to find what gives you the most peace at the end of the day.
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PostSubject: Re: What do you think?   Fri Sep 12, 2008 1:14 am

I would just talk to him about it. Any updates??

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